Prodigal Teacher Zac Rueth Announces Long Awaited Return

Whether through memories of the resounding statement, "You're on my time now," followed by a furtive glance down at a bulky Walmart watch from under triangle eyebrows, or fond recollections of open abuse from students to teacher, we all remember Zac Rueth, the now estranged English "teacher" from back in middle school. Now, after several years of wandering the globe, living off the land, and soul searching, Rueth makes his long awaited return to Gibraltar. With the loss of Gibraltar's heroes, Shirley Mann and Paul Bremel, the school has found its staff understaffed and a little less than entertained. To spice things up a little, the administration has decided to bring back someone who already has experience with Gibraltar students. Rueth rejoins the Door County community with unbridled enthusiasm, saying, "I just missed you all so much! I mean, ever since those girls wrote a play about my murder for a 7th grade English assignment, I just knew I belonged here." His comments were cut short by a fit of baa-ing and scuffing the ground with his hooves. Housing for Rueth has been provided by Al Johnson's, as bountiful grazing space was a necessity. Rueth will make his return in the fall of 2012, and will be teaching Ancient Mythology and AP Biology: Hooved Mammals. Needless to say, the student body is buzzing with anticipation of their beloved mentor.
"It's like an early graduation present!" says junior, Megan Swain. "Spending my last year of at Gibraltar with Mr. Rueth was truly the only thing my highschool experience was lacking. Being able to realize that dream is more than I could ever imagine."
Eyes water with nostalgia as other students reminisce about their experiences with the acclaimed educator.
"He's always been a role model for me," sniffles Ainsley Nelson, another former student of Rueth's. "His constant control of the class, his leadership, his incredible fashion sense.. I'm sorry.. I need a moment."
It is very important for young students to be able to look up to their teachers as intelligent and mature adults. Gibraltar administrators have clearly taken a step in the right direction with this decision, and the entire community is waiting with enormous excitement for the start of the new school year.